Crawl Across the Ocean

Monday, October 03, 2005

Or Something Like That

I see that George Bush, acting president of the Texas Rangers, has appointed a new pitcher to the team's rotation for next year, with Harriet 'Wild Thing' Miers replacing the ineffective Chan Ho Park.

While Rangers fans had been braced for the appointment of someone with a lousy minor league record, Bush has surprised the pundits by appointing someone with no pitching experience whatsoever. "Having never worked as a pitcher, Miers has no paper trail of poor control or a high HR/9IP rate, and prospective opponents thus will have a hard time identifying weaknesses to protest or complain about," Ranger fan club president Billy Barrow said.

President Bush declared it to be a good pick, saying, "She has devoted her life to both watching baseball and playing the occasional pickup game. She will strictly interpret baseball's constitution and laws. She will not pitch from the bench. Not to mention, she used to be my babysitter for a number of years. She will be an outstanding addition to the rotation of the Texas Rangers."

Reaction from the baseball community was more cautious. "We know even less about Harriet Miers than we did about Kameron Loe, and because there are a lot of deep fantasy pools out there, Americans will need to know a lot more about Mier's stuff and velocity before taking her in next year's draft," said Senator-fan Charlie Schmidt, fantasy columnist for The Sporting News.


Or something like that, anyway. To be fair, judges and pitchers are not strictly comparable: we have fairly accurate, reliable measures of whether a pitcher is good or not.


  • Nice, well-placed barb. Just goes to show that the Canadian Liberals don't have the market cornered on bone-headed patronage-style appointments.

    By Blogger Andrew, at 6:02 PM  

  • I think the Liberals appointments have generally been reasonable - within the bounds of a political system where half the pepople in Ottawa are appointed by the PM.

    I take more issue with their unwillingness to reform the system than with the appointments themselves.

    By Blogger Declan, at 8:45 AM  

  • Yeah,

    Well, this make our judicial appointment process look downright scientific.

    And that she is almost a shoe in means that the much ballyhooed Senate and Congressional review process that some want to institute for our judicial appointments isn't worth anything (as if John Roberts appointment didn't already prove that).

    The only thing that could make this worse would be to elect them...

    By Blogger Mike, at 8:45 AM  

  • "The only thing that could make this worse would be to elect them..."

    What, you don't think Schwarzenegger would make a great Supreme Court judge? Although I suppose Stallone has more relevant experience (Judge Dredd).

    By Blogger Declan, at 3:40 PM  

  • Harriet Miers has a good 'baseball face'.

    By Blogger Simon, at 2:30 PM  

  • yeah her uh, 'game face' is a little intimidating, that is for sure.

    By Blogger Declan, at 2:35 PM  

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