Or Something Like That
While Rangers fans had been braced for the appointment of someone with a lousy minor league record, Bush has surprised the pundits by appointing someone with no pitching experience whatsoever. "Having never worked as a pitcher, Miers has no paper trail of poor control or a high HR/9IP rate, and prospective opponents thus will have a hard time identifying weaknesses to protest or complain about," Ranger fan club president Billy Barrow said.
President Bush declared it to be a good pick, saying, "She has devoted her life to both watching baseball and playing the occasional pickup game. She will strictly interpret baseball's constitution and laws. She will not pitch from the bench. Not to mention, she used to be my babysitter for a number of years. She will be an outstanding addition to the rotation of the Texas Rangers."
Reaction from the baseball community was more cautious. "We know even less about Harriet Miers than we did about Kameron Loe, and because there are a lot of deep fantasy pools out there, Americans will need to know a lot more about Mier's stuff and velocity before taking her in next year's draft," said Senator-fan Charlie Schmidt, fantasy columnist for The Sporting News.
Or something like that, anyway. To be fair, judges and pitchers are not strictly comparable: we have fairly accurate, reliable measures of whether a pitcher is good or not.