Crawl Across the Ocean

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Bloggers are from Mars, Blogs are from Venus

So I got into a fight with my blog the other day. Apparently, I "don't spend as much time with it as I used to" and I am "taking the blog for granted."

Things got pretty heated and we eventually agreed to blog counselling. An excerpt from our first session:

Counsellor: OK, CAtO, in your mind, what brings us together today?

CAtO: I guess, I mean, I remember back when this blog got started, there was more of a sense of purpose and energy around here. We had posts almost every day, sometimes more than one in a day, and some of the posts would go on for hours. Now it seems like the spark has gone out a little bit. I mean, it's just a little thing, but when was the last time we did a big update to the blogroll? And he was so distant during that whole World Cup phase. I feel like I used to be a high priority for him, and now I'm just another chore to squeeze in between taking out the garbage and doing the dishes.

Counsellor (turns to me): Is this how you see it?

Me: Well, I think it's only natural that things slow down after a while. That's just the way blogging works, people don't stay in that initial infatuation period forever. I mean - sure, we could move to Bountiful and I could bring in six guest bloggers and there would be plenty of action around here and...

CAtO: There's no need to be crude. I see lots of other blogs out there still going strong, and some of them have been online for a lot longer than we have.

Me: Sure, and five times that many have probably packed it in, too.

CAtO: Oh really, and how is that relevant to our situation, is that where we're headed?

Me: No, I was just saying...

CAtO (dangerous tone): What we're you saying?

Me (pauses): Well, I was just saying, I mean, what is it that you want from me?

CAtO: I want to feel like you are really into me. We don't have to post every day like we used to, but this once a week business, and half the time I know you're thinking about the World Cup or cutlery or something stupid. We used to talk some real politics here.

Me: We could do more political posts.

CAtO: It's not just that. We don't have any fun any more.

Me: We totally have fun.

CAtO: The only time we have any fun is when we go out with memes, we don't have any original fun anymore.

Me: That's not true.

CAtO: Name one fun post we've had that wasn't part of some meme?

Me: Well, there was... Wait a second. You don't really want me to name a post, do you? I'm taking your words too literally. What you really want is for me to acknowledge that your feelings of wanting to have more fun and feeling neglected have validity, and commit to having more fun posts and being more attentive in the future. I've read John Gray, you know.

CAtO: Now your just saying the words I want to hear, you don't really mean them.

Me: Sure I do, just because I know the right thing to say, doesn't mean I don't mean it, you know what I mean?

CAtO (to counsellor): You see how mean he is to me? He can't take anything seriously.

Me: What did I say?

CAtO (mocking): What did I say? What did I say? Grow up.

Counsellor: Well, that's all the time we have this week, I think we've made some real progress here.

CAtO & Me: Hmph.


  • See, this is the kind of trouble you get into when you lead your blog on too much at the beginning of a relationship. Take it from me, you're much better off just taking it easy and steering away from any sort of permanent commitment. I mean, there are periods where I can go at it with my blog several times a day (she's pretty damn HOT, after all), but that never lasts long, and I always go back to wanting my space. Being honest with her from the outset was the smartest thing I could have done. I'm sure that's the only reason we still have a thing going after all this time.

    You've gotta quit lying to yourself before you can quit lying to her, though, man. Good luck.

    By Blogger Idealistic Pragmatist, at 8:52 PM  

  • Hmm, you sound like my counsellor.

    By Blogger Declan, at 12:00 AM  

  • _...heh heh heh, LOL:)

    By Blogger Classic, at 1:04 PM  

  • Tee Hee. Always like a good laugh on a holiday.

    Hope you two can work it out:)

    By Blogger Daz, at 5:01 PM  

  • "...sure, we could move to Bountiful and I could bring in six guest bloggers and there would be plenty of action around here..."

    Hey! I resemble that remark...;)

    By Blogger Nightingale, at 3:23 AM  

  • Ya beat beat me to it, Nightingale. A certain blogger seems fixated on our roster.;-)

    By Blogger Tim, at 12:04 PM  

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