23/5 & (Horror) Story Time
I'm guessing that when grammar grannies get all cranky about people starting sentences with conjunctions, it's not because they are worried that some blog meme will come along and sever the offending sentence from the preceding one, to which it would normally be joined by a comma. But, having said that, this blog meme issue might just be a particular example of the general problem with such sentences.
At any rate, Kevin at Odd Thoughts has tagged me (update: talk talk talk tagged me as well) with a meme which instructs me to go back to my 23rd post (this one) and extract the 5th sentence, which read:
"But if you keep getting hostages taken time and time again, any normal person would look for a way to change the dynamics of the situation."
James Bow figured that people should also write a little story based on this sentence, but I didn't have time to write a story *and* write a post about politics so you can blame James for the following:
-----
Management Decision
"But if you keep getting hostages taken time and time again, any normal person would look for a way to change the dynamics of the situation."
"So what you're saying is, we're not normal?"
"No, I'm only saying that we need to develop a five year plan to reduce the likelihood of any more hostages being taken."
"A five year plan - you want to come up with a five year plan? Isn't Friday your last day here?"
"Not if you decide to hire me back based on the genius of my five year plan."
"Listen Paul. Like you just said, a normal person would want to change the dynamics of the situation. So that's what we did - we fired you. You've had 12 years to get this department in order and if we're still getting hostages taken left and right, no last minute five year plan is going to make any difference."
"But I was only assistant manager for 10 of those years"
"Paul"
"It's all Jean's fault.."
"Paul!"
"What are you going to do, put Stockholm Syndrome Stevie in charge? We'll have so many hostages taken there won't be anyone left to pay the ransom."
"Well..."
"Or maybe you'd like to put Jack in charge - that guy took *me* hostage for cripes sake!"
"Well..."
"Or maybe you'd like to put those guys who've been trying to hold the whole company for ransom in charge, or maybe that guy who comes in and waters the plants every couple of weeks! You can't replace me, this is my department! I am this department!!"
(a pause)
"Look, there's no easy answers here Paul, I can't promise anything, but we'll take your five year plan into consideration and we'll let you know. Don't call us, we'll call you.
---
Update: I hate it when I hit publish by accident. Anyway, this is the part where I would normally tag 5 more people to do the meme as well but most bloggers I know have already been hit by this one and most of the rest I've already tagged at least once and I don't want to get on anyone's nerves with multiple tags and really, if you want to post on this meme, I think you should just go for it. Consider this an open tag to anyone reading this post who has a blog of their own to dig up the 5th sentence of your 23rd post and write about it.
----
Second Update, on Second Thought: I think that first update was kind of lame, so here are some real tags:
Trish at Journey to Faith
Chris at Tart Cider
Chris at Murky View
Rob at One Damn Thing After Another
Ginna at Gin and Tonic
But the open tag is still open for anyone not on this list...
At any rate, Kevin at Odd Thoughts has tagged me (update: talk talk talk tagged me as well) with a meme which instructs me to go back to my 23rd post (this one) and extract the 5th sentence, which read:
"But if you keep getting hostages taken time and time again, any normal person would look for a way to change the dynamics of the situation."
James Bow figured that people should also write a little story based on this sentence, but I didn't have time to write a story *and* write a post about politics so you can blame James for the following:
-----
Management Decision
"But if you keep getting hostages taken time and time again, any normal person would look for a way to change the dynamics of the situation."
"So what you're saying is, we're not normal?"
"No, I'm only saying that we need to develop a five year plan to reduce the likelihood of any more hostages being taken."
"A five year plan - you want to come up with a five year plan? Isn't Friday your last day here?"
"Not if you decide to hire me back based on the genius of my five year plan."
"Listen Paul. Like you just said, a normal person would want to change the dynamics of the situation. So that's what we did - we fired you. You've had 12 years to get this department in order and if we're still getting hostages taken left and right, no last minute five year plan is going to make any difference."
"But I was only assistant manager for 10 of those years"
"Paul"
"It's all Jean's fault.."
"Paul!"
"What are you going to do, put Stockholm Syndrome Stevie in charge? We'll have so many hostages taken there won't be anyone left to pay the ransom."
"Well..."
"Or maybe you'd like to put Jack in charge - that guy took *me* hostage for cripes sake!"
"Well..."
"Or maybe you'd like to put those guys who've been trying to hold the whole company for ransom in charge, or maybe that guy who comes in and waters the plants every couple of weeks! You can't replace me, this is my department! I am this department!!"
(a pause)
"Look, there's no easy answers here Paul, I can't promise anything, but we'll take your five year plan into consideration and we'll let you know. Don't call us, we'll call you.
---
Update: I hate it when I hit publish by accident. Anyway, this is the part where I would normally tag 5 more people to do the meme as well but most bloggers I know have already been hit by this one and most of the rest I've already tagged at least once and I don't want to get on anyone's nerves with multiple tags and really, if you want to post on this meme, I think you should just go for it. Consider this an open tag to anyone reading this post who has a blog of their own to dig up the 5th sentence of your 23rd post and write about it.
----
Second Update, on Second Thought: I think that first update was kind of lame, so here are some real tags:
Trish at Journey to Faith
Chris at Tart Cider
Chris at Murky View
Rob at One Damn Thing After Another
Ginna at Gin and Tonic
But the open tag is still open for anyone not on this list...
posted by Declan at
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
2 Comments:
Sorry, but Case already nailed me at Tasteful Future. Humourless git that I am, I coughed up the line in question -- "Apparently our friends in the resource-marauding sector have sucked the English language dry, discarded its withered husk and moved on to Latin." -- but respectfully declined to pass along the meme. (If I was to carry on with the whole nine yards and do the story, the next bit would be, "I could not help but cry out in astonishment, 'Holmes, this is surely conjecture! How on earth could you infer so much from a simple discarded sock?'")
By
Rob Cottingham, at 2:56 PM
OK, no more memes for you.
(If I remember)
(Which I probably won't)
By
Declan, at 4:52 PM
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